Why Ishwari Dixit Needs a Shrink & Soon

Ishwari has always been a complex and quite frankly, an extremely frustrating character. So is the complicated relationship that she shares with her son. She was first introduced as the proud mother to a self-made successful business tycoon, Dev Dixit. Within the first few episodes it was clear that she was her son’s biggest support, confidant, friend and advisor. Dev on multiple occasions has even declared how he considered her as his only God. With that kind of importance conferred on her, her extreme possessiveness for her son obviously came as no surprise. Which is exactly what pushed us into questioning if this seemingly model relationship between them or their complete devotion towards each other was really healthy?

They say a mother never has favorites among her children, but we know that’s not always the case. But Dev was more than just a favorite to Ishwari, she was her rock that kept her going as she fought her share of battles, to secure a future for her family. He was her beacon of hope, her biggest investment, the answer to all her prayers. While Ishwari saw her entire family’s future in Dev and worked with him to secure it, Dev saw Ishwari as the person that was solely responsible and rightfully deserved all the success and appreciation that had come his way. This kind of complete dependency on a person that does not allow them to function without being too invested in the other person’s life can never be a good thing. With dependency comes control and with control the feeling of ownership. For Ishwari, Dev clearly belonged to her and her only. Anyone else always had to come second including her own daughters.

Her worst nightmare came true when Dev fell in love with Sonakshi and rightly gave her the same level of priority that his other favorite woman in the world enjoyed. Having lost her husband pretty early, Ishwari probably understood the importance that a life partner or a spouse held in a person’s life. Which is why she was always against Dev’s marriage, whether it was Natasha or Sonakshi. She was willing to let her own son suffer endlessly if it meant never having to let go of her sole ownership on him. This honestly should have been Dev’s wake up call. Unfortunately never being that good of an observer, Dev dixit failed to see not only how completely obsessed she was in controlling his life and but also the fact that she was extremely dependent on him and the relationship that they shared. Ishwari Dixit alone had no identity, no worth unless she was Dev Dixit’s mother, the mother that he had always held above everyone and everything else in his life, before Sonakshi.

This is when we saw a much frightening side of Ishwari. When she learnt that she had no control over Dev’s feelings for Sonakshi, she reluctantly gives up only to, instead try and control their marriage. From the couple’s very first night to deciding their honeymoon for them to their eventual divorce, she did everything she could to make sure she had the biggest say in her Son’s life and she succeeds. While we could clearly see how mental that was, not one person on the show realized that she was not right in her head. Do you really blame Bijoy for always losing his cool when it comes to her daughter’s conniving, hypocritical unreasonable mother in law? The entire Dixit family had developed a case of selective indifference when it came to her and knew well enough to maintain their distance from all things that concerned Ishwari and her relationship with her son. Sonakshi who unfortunately could not afford the same luxury ended up not only being the trigger but also the collateral damage when the unhealthy relationship finally saw its predicted and disastrous end.

After the leap, we hoped that maybe, just maybe the blow that was dealt to her when Dev severed ties with her was big enough to make her introspect and discover how selfish she had been, making her regret her erroneous thinking, innumerable mistakes and wrong choices that had destroyed not only her son’s life but the entire family. However, we can’t honestly say we are surprised to see that her neurotic behavior has only gone up a notch. Not having the strength or the courage to acknowledge or handle the guilt that comes with owning up to her role in creating the dreadful situation that they now find themselves in, she of course easily projects the entire blame on Sonakshi, thus taking the easy way out. As always the Dixits yet again see nothing wrong with it and none seem to have the right sense to correct her.

Before it was “Victim-is-I” and now it’s the “it-wasn’t-me” game that she conveniently and effortlessly plays. Dev broke the relationship that she so sacredly cherished, Sonakshi is to be blamed. Dev is unhappy, Sonakshi is to be blamed. Dev hasn’t moved on, Sonakshi is to be blamed. Her family isn’t as united or as happy as before, Sonakshi is to be blamed. Dev rebukes her yet again for interfering and trying to fix something that doesn’t concern her in the first place, Sonakshi and her family is to be blamed. Nothing, absolutely nothing is her fault. Everything she did was right while everyone else was out to get her, create a rift between her and her son and ruin their happiness. She has absolutely zero guilt about everything she has done to ruin not only her son’s life but another girl’s as well. She continues to evade all kinds of responsibility, refusing to come out of her fool’s paradise, trying to yet again control everything she possibly can in order to gain the same importance that she once enjoyed in her son’s life. Seriously though, she even looks like she has gone into mourning after the fiasco seven years ago, it’s about time someone seriously thought about getting her some much needed psychological help. It’s long overdue!

Geetha Reddy