Dear Saanjh , It is Time to Let Go!

Dear Saanjh,

No this isn’t another one of those letters from an anonymous source that would get you into trouble, especially with Arjun, so let go of that breath that you are holding and calm down. This one is actually from a well-wisher who wants to see you as well as the people that truly care about you happy. You are an incredible girl Saanjh. The immense capacity that you hold to give and love is truly inspiring. You are one of those incredible souls that always spread joy around you. Not everyone is blessed with that kind of a gift so I guess that makes you one of a kind. You are also incredibly strong. There aren’t that many that can put the guy that they have been in love with their entire life, the one that breaks their heart before their own happiness, but you did. You wished for his happiness with the girl that he is in love with, whole heartedly. That makes you extremely strong. You really are the best friend that any one let alone Arjun could possibly wish for.

But lately, I think you don’t remember that about yourself. Which is a shame because there really is nothing more pitiful than a girl who doesn’t remember or acknowledge her worth. So here I am in an attempt to remind you, to tell you, one girl to another, the stuff that a girl really needs to hear once in a while. Stop trying so hard! Stop choosing everyone’s happiness over yours, stop beating yourself up about not being good enough, stop comparing yourself with the girl who is apparently better than you. More importantly, stop being so overly dependent on a guy, even if he calls himself your best friend. Do not give anyone the power to break you so badly that you can’t pick yourself up. It might be hard to accept but the fact of the matter is that this friendship that you have with Arjun hasn’t been healthy at all. You really need to start drawing the boundaries and start seeing his as well. He has made his priorities pretty clear. It’s about time you got yours right as well. It’s time to grow up Saanjh, the world isn’t a fairytale and you cannot afford to be a damsel in distress who awaits her prince charming. Unfortunately Prince Charmings are hard to come by so you need to be the hero to the story that you create with the people you want in it. Choose people that are worthy of it. You deserve people that tell you how beautiful you are. The ones that tell you how proud they are of you, the ones that stand for you, choose you, fight for you and most importantly the ones that respect and care for your feelings. Not the ones that make you feel emotionally drained every single time you see or spend time with them. Even after you went honest with your feelings for Arjun, he was never really considerate about them. It’s time someone told you the honest facts as they are. Not only did he not once show even a tiny bit of think about how his very public and very obvious display of affection for Maya would make you feel but went ahead and pulled that stunt in front of your apparent competition where he accused you of being a jealous friend while simultaneously rubbing it in of the fact that he did not chose you over her. Which should have been the last nail in the coffin, yet you gave him another opportunity to berate you and your friendship. He has repeatedly proved that he clearly isn’t one of those people you really want to have around you at this point. He might be your best friend but he isn’t really behaving like one right now. But then again everyone knows that when it’s a battle between the girlfriend and the best friend, girlfriend always wins. Your best friend clearly isn’t an exception either. You tried and you failed. How many more times will it take for you to see that all your efforts at making him see reason are futile. Arjun , his relationship with Maya, her psychotic father and her gullible mother are not your issues to deal with. Maya is toxic; however Arjun who cannot see anything past her and her need for him is more toxic to you and your life right now. You cannot be his hero every time. You cannot always be the stronger one. You cannot let anyone, even your best friend, take you for granted the way he clearly has. That kind of relationship if you didn’t realize already is really bad news!

Honestly though, aren’t friendships supposed to be easy? Albeit it did turn a little complicated with your one side love, but even then, friendships are always supposed to lift you up, never the other way around. Basically, neither your unrequited love nor this friendship that you have going on with him are clearly doing you any good. There always comes a point in a relationship where you are needed to self-reflect, take a step back or completely walk away from a person before you end up hurting yourself or the both of you irreparably. That time is now Saanjh, you need to let go, for you and in a way for him as well but most importantly for those people who love you unconditionally and cannot stand seeing you get constantly hurt because of it. No relationship is worth it, not even an allegedly ‘behadh gehri dosti’.

Geetha Reddy